Most days pass like this. I seem to be caught in a timeless warp of routine and sameness. Will I get out of it? I don't know.
Have you ever felt the child in you dying slowly to give birth to the man that you have become? I have been feeling that for quite some time now. My mind has filled with cynicism and apathy. Do I really care for anything in this world?
Why do I keep searching for meaning? Why do I view the world with a pessimist's eye? What has happened to me? Where have the mirth and innocence gone?
A short life here. And then we disappear into the timelessness that is eternity. What are we in this grand scheme of things? What are our achievements, our joys, our victories in this battle with timelessness?
Billions and billions of planets revolving around billions and billions of stars in billions and billions of galaxies. What are we - tiny negligible living organic matter called humans, in this huge scheme of things.
What is ego, love, anger, pride and sorrow? Are these mere permutations and combinations of chemicals and hormones?
What are our parents? The left hand side of a chemical equation?
Or am I the fulfillment of destiny?
What meaning does destiny hold for those millions who die in poverty, hunger, war and crime? Is a destiny worth the lives of millions, worth it?
Have you ever felt that the line between good and evil has been erased long back? Do you feel helpless when the world debates even the most heinous crime, justifying it with plausible explanations? Do you feel lost when the world that you have known, the values that you have believed in, vanish in the name of modernity and globalization?
Do you feel lost?
I do.
Every day.
What inspires you to live a life with purpose and meaning?
Doesn't it upset you that you arrived into this world without knowing your purpose and will leave it without knowing where it is headed?
How I crave for meaning and purpose.
How I wish my life had more meaning than a big bang.
God.. How I wish I knew..
Have you ever felt the child in you dying slowly to give birth to the man that you have become? I have been feeling that for quite some time now. My mind has filled with cynicism and apathy. Do I really care for anything in this world?
Why do I keep searching for meaning? Why do I view the world with a pessimist's eye? What has happened to me? Where have the mirth and innocence gone?
A short life here. And then we disappear into the timelessness that is eternity. What are we in this grand scheme of things? What are our achievements, our joys, our victories in this battle with timelessness?
Billions and billions of planets revolving around billions and billions of stars in billions and billions of galaxies. What are we - tiny negligible living organic matter called humans, in this huge scheme of things.
What is ego, love, anger, pride and sorrow? Are these mere permutations and combinations of chemicals and hormones?
What are our parents? The left hand side of a chemical equation?
Or am I the fulfillment of destiny?
What meaning does destiny hold for those millions who die in poverty, hunger, war and crime? Is a destiny worth the lives of millions, worth it?
Have you ever felt that the line between good and evil has been erased long back? Do you feel helpless when the world debates even the most heinous crime, justifying it with plausible explanations? Do you feel lost when the world that you have known, the values that you have believed in, vanish in the name of modernity and globalization?
Do you feel lost?
I do.
Every day.
What inspires you to live a life with purpose and meaning?
Doesn't it upset you that you arrived into this world without knowing your purpose and will leave it without knowing where it is headed?
How I crave for meaning and purpose.
How I wish my life had more meaning than a big bang.
God.. How I wish I knew..
12 comments:
Too many questions and no answers!!! But it is too early in life to seek answers. Something bothering you?
huh? this was such a nice one...yes often even i tend to question things with certain level of cynicism. I guess it's natural for everyone of our age to do so. Yes even i miss that innocence and i do try to retain it, but certain times it becomes tough to do so.
very pertinent and very spontaneous...as usual, you are in your element :)
I also tend to fall into existential dilemma. Good that such questions arise in our mind. There are no clear answers to these. But to a certain extent such thoughts change our self.
Maybe you can listen to this - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0EaacHfHJI&feature=related
I(We)'ve attended the Inner Engineering program by Isha Yoga and trying to understand life in a different way.
:-)
@Seema chechi- too early? Or am I already late? :)
PS: Nothing is bothering me. I have this habit of going through monthly periods of pointless philosophical retrospection.
@Gayathri - Thanks.
I guess I have to learn to love life the way it is than question it all the time :)
@Shiva - guess I'm in my element when I write down exactly what I feel or what I've been through, be it rants or stories. When writing fiction too, only when the characters have traces of myself or what I believe in do they come out well. Else it feels like something is missing. Thanks.
@Bindhu chechi - thanks a lot for the link. That was the first time I listened to Sadh Guru. He seems to be at peace with himself which is what we are all looking for I guess.
He talks about Karma and Karma being responsible for your life.
There was a comment for that video which said I don't agree with the comment that there is no destiny/fate, because our life is embedded by other external entities and their actions which at times we may have had nothing to do with or may not have an idea why the entity had acted in such manner. (for example: a pedestrian is severely injured in an accident by a careless driver, the pedestrian didn't know the driver nor had any relativity with the incident).
That's also my question. While its true that most of our actions have consequences; are all consequences based on our actions alone? Or is it the limited scope of our understanding?
Why so much pessimism? I also feel such thoughts at the prime of your youth is surprising May be you need someone to love so that you can forget all your ex lovers Do not take life too seriously Watch and learn from animals how to view life
Do you feel lost?
I do.
Every day...
WOW... I feel the same too n I thot i was the only crazy one around...(no, no.. I din mean to cal u crazy...)
@Charakan - I have so many people to love sir :D
But thanks for the concern.
You are right. I take life too seriously at times (someone please tell me it's because I'm a leo :))
And if you ask me, animals have nothing to worry about sir :)
No job, no loans/emi's, no homesickness, ho homely food sickness etc. But it would be good if we cud have such freedom of mind :)
PS: I haven't really been lucky enough to have so many ex lovers :D
Most of them my stories reflect real life incidents, desires, dreams, thoughts etc. So half of it is fiction.
Allel njan ippo aara :D
@Lakshmi - you can call me crazy.
I wud totally understand cos apparently you are a leo too :)
Yeah.. I am a proud Leo too.. N my Leonine traits always drive ppl crazy... I am stubborn, egoistic n Love to b the center of attraction...Leo's Rule...:)
( Do hope the non-Leo's don kick me out of the blogoshphere)
If I had all the answers, I would not fall into existential dilemma. :-)
Even I'm trying to find answers. Sadguru is one means for that.
OT: Here's one more leo. :-)
Stumbled to this blog from the Varnchitram Mohanlal article.
Very thoughtful post. Feel the same way at times.
@Abhi - thanks and welcome here :)
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